Weezer's Red album

OK, so, another album review. Weezer’s Red album. Song by song, this time without any of that extended metaphor bullshit.

"Troublemaker": The lyrics suck, the music sucks. Since when has Weezer been cockrock? OK, so it is not, viz. Urban Dictionary, “metal buttrock” but is music made by a cock, and it sucks, so it is cockrock.

"The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Variations on a Shaker Hymn)": Lyrics= the suck. The overall feeling of this song (and album, sadly) is, “We are Weezer, and we totally rock, and we’re going to tell you”, and the audience will either take that as a witty self-referential joke, or will say, “No Weezer, you do not totally rock”. I’m in that second category.

And there’s a terribly, terribly annoying spoken word part midway through the song. I think I’m going to kick Rivers in the face if I see him. But then, immediately following the spoken word part, a wonderful hymnal based on the insipid line “I’m the greatest man that ever lived”. Stupid things should not be so pretty. So, I’m going to kick Rivers in the face, but not in the throat.

"Pork and Beans": Stupid things should not be so pretty. The video is soooo awesome; the song is, um… not bad. I still like the chorus when backup vocals come in with the rock hallelujah. I still think that might be one of the great moments of rock this year. The rest of the song is, um… not bad.

"Heart Songs": A slow song, pretty, for some reason sonically reminiscent of (and this will get me into trouble) “The Sweater Song”. Again, fucking Weezer, it sounds nice, but the lyrics are so bad.

Everything else on the fucking album: Don’t bother. This is seriously bad shit. I'm not a huge Weezer fan, but it is frustrating to watch a formerly good band make bad music.